Tips for Supporting a Loved One With Social Anxiety Disorder
Below are a variety of ways to support your friend or family member through this process.
Learn About Social Anxiety Disorder
SAD is more than just severe shyness. It is a real medical condition that has been linked to abnormalities in brain chemistry and dysfunctional thinking patterns. Learning as much as you can about the symptoms of the disorder and what treatments are effective will help you know what to expect from the illness and from recovery.
Don’t Enable
Your friend or relative may have spent many years with the symptoms of social anxiety disorder before being diagnosed. During this time, you may have developed habits to help them avoid anxiety-provoking situations. It will take time and practice to unlearn these patterns. For example, if you have developed the habit of speaking on behalf of your friend while in social situations, gradually stop this behavior. If they become too anxious and want to leave a social situation, negotiate with them to stay just a little bit longer.
Encourage Treatment
If your friend or family member is resistant to receiving treatment, listen to their concerns. If they have questions about specific aspects of treatment, you can ask to speak to a member of the treatment team to ease their worries. Gently encourage them to seek treatment, and encourage them to complete treatment once it has begun.
Praise Small Accomplishments
Therapy and recovery are gradual processes. It is important that you recognize small steps made by your friend or family member and give praise and positive feedback. Voice that you are proud of them for trying, even if they don’t initially reach a goal that has been set. Applaud progress and encourage the use of skills learned during therapy.
Keep to a Routine
The period of treatment and recovery can be a stressful time. It’s important that your friend or family member knows that you will be consistent and reliable and that there will be routines that can be counted on. If you normally spend a couple of hours at a dinner party, don’t expect your spouse to stay late into the night.
Ask Them What They Need
Don’t assume that you know what your friend or family member needs. If you are in an anxiety-provoking situation, ask how you can best help them cope. Together, you can determine how little or how much you will need to be involved in the recovery process.
Be Patient
Treatment and recovery can be a slow process—it may take months to change patterns that have been learned over many years. Be patient and don’t expect too much from your friend or family member all at once.
Manage Your Own Emotions
If your friend or a family member becomes overly anxious or panicky in certain situations, it is important not to get too emotional yourself. Although it is important to be empathetic, try not to focus too much on the fear. For example, if your friend panics before going to a social gathering, avoid overly empathizing with them about how difficult it will be. Focus on the positive progress that they are making and your confidence in their ability to cope.
Don’t Place Blame
Do not regard social anxiety disorder as being someone’s fault. Feeling guilty or blaming your friend or relative will only make things worse. Accept that the disorder is the result of biological and psychological factors that are out of everyone’s control.
Be a Good Listener
Sometimes just telling someone about your problems makes them seem more manageable. Allow your friend or family member to explain how they feel. In addition to making you more aware of what they are going through, it will help them feel less isolated.
A Word From Verywell
Helping someone with an anxiety disorder requires patience and understanding. In the case of social anxiety disorder, it also requires the ability to be close to someone who may sometimes seem to be pushing you away. Learn to separate the symptoms from the person, and you will be much further ahead in your journey toward helping your loved one. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
